All about Nova

My Pregnancy
Hello, I chose to get pregnant in the year 2007 and in the third week of the month of December on purpose. I endured some interesting challenges during this time. I had a severe fight with my family, became homeless, lived in a shelter, had severe health issues, and somehow at the last minute I found a home before I gave birth to my child. This is the single most memorable and life changing period of my life. In fact, the year of my pregnancy changed much of my personality completely. It set the momentum for me to continue becoming a better person. I couldn't be happier with or more proud of myself for the choice I made to change my life immensely.
To start off, I came to a point in my life that I was extremely suicidal and couldn't even trust my own behavior. I had been preparing myself over the last six months for two possible paths. It was either die or get pregnant somehow. If I became pregnant I would use that to save my life or give myself a purpose because I value the lives of others so greatly. I have the belief that every life no matter how small deserves the right to live. The father’s name is Drake and he just so happened to like me a lot and was constantly trying to get with me. So, as he seemed the best choice for me at the time I told him what I wanted from him. To my surprise Drake agreed to my terms. The agreement was for me to sleep with him until I got pregnant. I then promised in exchange that he would get to visit on special occasions have pictures and watch her grow up. Lucky for me I got the far better end of the stick. It only took a one night stand for me to conceive.
Drake was the first to know when I got the news from the doctors confirming the pregnancy. After that I waited about month before telling anyone else the news to make sure I wasn't going to have a miscarriage. I told my best friend Tara first. She and I read through a baby book (which I still have) to come up with a unique name. I called her Elliana. It means Happy One, and boy is she happy. About a week later I decided to tell my father who took the liberty of telling the rest of the world. This is when a whole lot of fighting happened between me and my whole family. The friction was mostly between me and my step mother Nell. She and I have very different cultural views, so not understanding my reasoning behind my choice she proceeded to do everything she could to get rid of me. Nell made an ultimatum or I call it a threat, to leave my father and take my half brother Emmory away with her. My father Lance chose me over her. In the desperateness of the situation I was determined to not allow my decision to tear my family apart. So the next morning I packed all my belongings and placed them in the basement and left that day with only a back pack.
After about a week of sleeping on park benches I found a shelter in a city called Lake Oswego where I spent the majority of my pregnancy, 7 out of 10 months. Living in this shelter felt more like a prison because I was confined by overly strict rules that if I broke them I would be thrown back to the street. I got a part time job and helped them out with rent sometimes. I had to quit my Arby’s job after working 4 months because I could no longer walk the 2 miles to work anymore. When that happened they turned me out. I spent the last month and the worst of my pregnancy on the streets of Portland where I couldn't defend myself. I even got raped once. I had to agree to it in order for him not to hurt me. I was very scared having to sleep in tunnels and basements and in several multi-story parking lots; anywhere I could get out of the wind and rain. There wasn't a single night I didn't beg God for mercy and cry myself to sleep.
Throughout my pregnancy and especially in the last three months my health deteriorated severely. I had irritable bowel pains so great they knocked me unconscious in the bathroom floor often or left me moaning in agony. I was deficient in iron and became severely anemic, I couldn't be in direct sunlight, and my Lupus came back out of remission. When I think about it, it’s a miracle I survived. I saw the doctors twice weekly having ultrasounds and checkups for the last three months. I became dangerously weak and got much worse daily. She was supposed to be due September 5th but the doctors decided to induct my labor the 13th of August.
During the last week I was extremely fearful of the department of human services coming to take my child from me because I had no way to care for my little girl. I became insanely desperate to find help because I finally had hope for myself having a life. If I had lost her I knew I would never recover this time. I went to the church. I poured my story out in-between sobs to the pastor/bishop (Latter-Day-Saints). To this day I thank my lucky stars for what happened next. In my darkest hour of need, the Pastor told me he knew an old lady who just happened to be asking for a live in maid/care helper that very day.
God bless her, her name is Dixie. She made an agreement with me for me to do all the chores and finances for her and sometimes help with physical assistance in exchange for a room rent free. Words cannot describe my gratitude that I had my girl and a warm room with a real bed to sleep on. That same week I gave birth to my girl and spent the next 2 ½ years raising my child and taking care of Dixie at her home which happened to be in the same town my family lived in making it easier for me to repair my relationships with them.
So to sum it all up I chose to follow a life changing path that led me on a big and quite frightening adventure that I somehow survived to enjoy the blessings I have today. I endured betrayal, starvation, illness, hardship, and hopelessness and never gave up. I hope that as you have read this you will think about the blessings you have too.